Sunday, December 11, 2016

My Brother Ernest

I am honoring my brother this TBT. He is gone now for a few years but he left an indelible dent on my spirit. I wrote this for him when he passed.
So many memories of our childhood have found their way to my consciousness.. He was 3 years older than me and taught me so many things, like how to make biscuits, how to do the perfect swan dive, (which I could never perfect) , how to ride a bike, then later a motorcycle.
It is ironic that he loved motorcycles so and that was what began his demise. I remember when he had his accident and was in a coma for three months, his body broken, his mind gone. My sister and I alternated nights at the hospital so that he would not be alone if he woke up. He said his first words to me when he came out of the coma. George Wallace was making a run for the presidency and I looked at Ernest and said, "Do you think George Wallace will ever be president?" and he said his first word.. "No".. I repeated the question and he answered again. I ran to get the nurses as we did not know if he would ever come out of the coma, but he did.
He over came so much. He was dead on the side of the road when they found him and the EMT revived him.. I am ashamed to say that I have asked God why many times, when his life seemed such a struggle and then it became clear to me a few days ago.
My brother was a gift to the world.
In the 37 years since he had his accident, I never saw him any other way than with a smile on his face.. When they cut off first one leg and then the other developed problems, he kept smiling. When he would be sick, he would reassure us that he would be alright. We should have been reassuring him that he would be alright. When he got the first bed sore and had to go to the hospital, he did not complain of pain, he was laughing.. When he had to go back for another, he still smiled.
How can one smile through adversity like that. I think he had to know that to complain would do no good. It would not change his circumstance. He would wake up the next day to the exact same day with the only control that he had, himself, and the way he impacted the world.
I want to remember the strength that my brother showed the next time time I think I am going to complain about my circumstances which mean nothing in the big picture.
So today, one of gods angels is laid to rest and I cry , but with tears of joy that I knew him and loved him.. Fly away, big brother, be a whole man again, in mind and body, and know that you touched my life in a way that I will never forget... Thank you for being my brother and for letting me be your little sister... Love, Kimmee
ps.. Just in case you all think he was a saint, this is the same brother that used to stack truck tires around me so that I could not get out for I know that he needed to do this when I would get in his hair.
He also taught me to make biscuits but I realized later that it was so that he would no longer have to get up at 4 am to make them for Daddy. That fell to me at the age of 8. I laugh at all the memories now and am so thankful to have them:-)

No comments:

Post a Comment