Wednesday, May 24, 2017

The Women I Come From In Honor Of Mothers Day 2017

Gloria Peacock Kimmel updated her cover photo.

Left to right.... Me, Mama, Grandma Ola Morris, Great Grandma Charlotte McCurdy Morris, Great Grandma Elizabeth McCurdy Morris, Aunt Catherine Morris, Aunt Dell ( Adelle) Morris Andrews, Grandma Lula Creamer Peacock, Aunts LIzzie and Arbelle Creamer Davis, The Peacock Aunts.. Loree, Mary Elma and Thelma, Great Grandma Amanda Diamond Peacock, The Three Peacock sisters, Ruby, Gloria, Donna and I am holding my oldest daughter Wendi on my lap. My middle daughter Mary Catherine was not born until 85 and this was taken in 1977 right before we were transferred to Okinawa..
I forgot to add the center photo.. Left Aunt Lorree Peacock King, Grandma Peacock, Mama, Aunt Jody Andrews Peacock and Lillian King. Standing in front of Mama are my siblings, Ruby, LeeRoy and Clifton.

My Story Of Illness

****Warning Long****
I thought I might never share the pictures of my illness but today with Mothers day approaching, I felt led to share. It is a 13 year journey of good days and bad days and God days.. I am sharing to let every one know that the human spirit is an amazing thing. We can get knocked down 10 times and still get up again.
I was a Wife, Mother and a sole support Nurse in upstate NY when I got these sharp pains in my right upper arm. It was so sharp and then gnawing at times that I thought I had bone cancer. I couldn't lift a chart at work without pain. I couldn't do my job and then in Dec of 2004, I broke out in red bumps on my hands. They were only centered between the thumb and forefinger. They were raised, painful and itchy.
I showed them to the Dr's on staff. They had never seen anything like it. I went to a skin specialist who biopsied the bumps. That came back that I had a condition called PNGD or palisaded neutrophilic granulomatous dermatitis.
It was rare and associated with connective tissue disorders like Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Sweets, Sarcoidosis which they at first thought I had. The tests were all negative. They tried antibiotics. Prednisone, Neurontin, then amitriptyline as they could not diagnose me and wanted to give me a pill to make me feel better about that.
It did not get any better. I was in bed six months, not eating, changing meds like my underpants. Nothing worked. We all thought I would die before they could get a handle on what was happening. My husband, at the time, was telling every one I would die, to garner sympathy from his women. My son was afraid. I could tell it in his wide eyed looks at me, when he would try to get me to eat or drink. He thought I might leave him alone with his father, that could not take care of himself, much less another.
After months, I finally made a decision to come South to be near my Nurse Daughter. I had a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, possible Sarcoidosis, possible Rheumatoid Arthritic Deviant. and I had gained 70 lbs from the "treatment" for my malady.
By the time we got to Florida, my husband bailed on me. I was too heavy for his desires and I was too sick to support him. Almost 20 years gone in a poof and I did not realize how getting sick was the best thing that ever happened to me, at the time.
It rid me of a man that would never be able to care for me, in my young age or my upcoming old age.
I learned that it is better to know that before it hits you upside the face.
I learned that each time a new treatment was devised that I embraced it and tried to do my best with it.
I lost my health, my job, my home and its contents, and finally my husband. I never gave up. I fought back. I had no health care but I had a place to live. My daughter made sure of that for many years, then in 2009, a vagabond existence began.
I was still selling all of my treasures and Thank God I had them. Between 2005 and 2013, I moved 13 times, sometimes for a yr, sometimes for a few months. I could not find a place to light. I was a moth circling the flame of sickness and death.
In 2008, I was trying to walk. It was January and cold but the cold numbed the pain so that I could try and walk. On one such walk, I heard rustling in the woods on either side of the road and 5 deer of differing sizes came out right in front of me. The large deer leading with smaller and smaller deer to the little deer trailing the line.
I felt like I was thunderstruck watching them. God had sent me a definitive message that I would survive. The first deer was my health, walking away from me, then my job, my home , its contents, and finally my husband leaving me. I knew in that moment that my problems had become smaller as each deer passed and that i was still here. The deer were showing me that one day, i would be a thing of beauty running free.
I kept at it, walking then running and lost weight and gained strength. The first photo below was before I knew I was sick. The second one was during treatment and the successive ones after that.
The years of non treatment and health care took its toll on me with my organs and especially my lungs. They aren't great now but I am still here, still breathing, still fighting the good fight. They still don't know exactly what connective tissue disorder is taking my health. I don't know that they will ever know. They only know the tests reveal that I have one. The inflammation in my body is off the charts. The pain is a constant reminder that I am here. I truly don't know what I would do if it suddenly stopped.
I try all kinds of holistic things and organic things in the 11 pills in the morning and the 6 pills at night and the liquids and balms and and..... lol. And I am still here. Loving every day that God graces me with. Loving my family beyond belief. Loving my friends with all of my heart. Loving.. Loving...
I don't look great again now.. I haven't shared a photo in a while because of it. I don't want to scare the people. LOL.. But today is a day of thankfulness and celebration so I am sharing the latest photo with my Granddaughter. She shines bright and my heart is the better for it...
My smile will always shine brightly because I have life and if you have life, then all is well. I am truly blessed and thankful today to be living with my oldest daughter, my daughter in law, my grandson and his girl. We are a family, an unconventional one, but a family and I love and appreciate all that they do and have done for me.
On this Mothers day, hug your Moms if you still have them. Love and live each day as if it were your last. Let life lift you up. Let the grace of God and the people that love you help you find your smile. We aren't guaranteed easy days, but if we are above ground, then that is an opportunity for greatness.
I don't share so that you all feel sorrow. I share so that you all feel strength in the human spirit. The strength that comes with Love.. A four letter word that means nothing has to be spoken aloud. It surrounds us, permeates our being and gives us strength to keep on walking, just as I am.... Much love to you, Kamama

Victorian Slum House

WOW, I thought that my times in my upstate Ny home were rough with no furnace, with having to bail the septic weekly every winter, to be without a working toilet for over 2 years, contracting Beaver Fever, and so many other calamities that befell us, but it was a picnic compared to these conditions. We had a comfortable bed, we were cold all winter but we had shelter and food. So much to be thankful for. If you can watch this and see what ancestors had to go through starting in 1860, it is worthwhile.
Thank you to Jeannie  for the recommendation.. Wow..
If this doesn't make all of us appreciate what we have, then maybe living like this or like I did for a while would change that pretty quick. LOL.

The 30 Grilled Sandwiches

Lordamercy, I fell asleep long enough to dream and I was a wife again. It was the big game and the house was purentee full of rowdy cowboys and their wives and children. I made the mistake of asking one of the kids if they wanted a grilled ham and cheese sandwich, then took that mistake to the big TV room where all the people were watching the game and asked if they wanted one.
Thirty hands went up and with a smile I traipsed to the kitchen in my high heels and said, "I am gonna need an apron!" LOL. I told every one there would be a slight delay while more sourdough, Ham and Cheese was bought.
Then I fired up a griddle pan and two small ones on the stove. I made 15 of them suckers at a time. With my hair slightly askew, I delivered all 30 grilled ham and cheese sandwiches to the gang with paper plates, a napkin and a smile.. Who says that my serving days as a Skating Car Hop at A&W Drive In didn't pay off? 😂😁

(google image of the A&W drive in 


On Being In Love

May 23 2013
Good early morning sisters and brothers. I was talking about love to some friends yesterday. I have written about love many times over the past few years and wanted to share some of how that came about for me.. Here is an entry that changed my life.. I love you, Kimmee
PS. My oldest daughter took this shot a while ago long before Kamama was born. Prophetic for sure...
Falling In Love
Thursday, December 10, 2009
I was reminded this morning of the day that I fell in love..I was on a dating site and someone asked me if I had fallen in love, and I replied, Sort of....
It was over at the other house that had the lake, and I was walking down the path to the lake for my morning meditation. As I got about half way there, I noticed the perfect tree reflected in the water and the thought found me, that I want to find that perfect mirror image of myself to love.
I ran back home to get my camera to capture the picture and got as close to the waters edge as I could, to get that perfect shot..
I took the shot, and then something made me look down, and there reflected in the water was the perfect mirror image of someone to love. Myself..
Tears flooded my eyes that day, and I still tear up thinking about it all this time later, because I changed that day. I was able to see that I was indeed lovable, that I was the perfect person to love, and that I deserved all that love that I give others all the time.
It made a huge difference in my life that day, and my wish is for each of you to find that perfect mirror image of yourself to love.. When that day came for me it brought me such peace.. I wish that for each of you... Love to all, Kimmee

Love Is The Answer

It seems appropriate and yet so sad that this comes up on my timeline today following yet another Terrorist attack, this time in Manchester. 
I keep praying for unity for our World and I will continue to pray that one day our children will know peace. 
 Hold your loved ones close. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, today will be a memory soon. Make Your world as bright as you can. I am so blessed in my life and I don't take that life for granted. Thank you all for being here. Continue spreading love around and continue praying for peace and for each other. Love to all, Kimmee

(Warning, wordy post)
Lord, it is such a beautiful start to the day and while watching the squirrels scurrying here and there, and listening to the bird song, it is hard to think that anything could be wrong in the world.
Then my eyes hit a news byline that says things like Riots going on in Cleveland after that verdict, massive earthquakes in Nepal, and Isis executes mass women and children. The realities of what is going on in other places hits my spirit like a brick and I feel humbled to be safe in my world.
But not every one is safe where they live. Sometime, just the color of your skin will dictate how your day is going to go.
We think we have come so far in our country, that we are so civilized but that is far from the truth.
We have rampant prejudice in the world. It is not only here but the headlines the past few months show us with certainty that we treat people differently in the USA based on the color of your skin.
It is not a new thing. When many or our ancestors came to this country on those first ships, the land was inhabited by a beautiful free people.
They had skin of bronze, long dark hair with feathered decorations and they hunted and gathered what they needed, always giving thanks for what they were given.
These beautiful people that had never seen anything but themselves contracted diseases that the White men brought, they were killed if they resisted the efforts of the White man expansion efforts, and they were treated as less than animals as time went on.
These once proud men and women who took care of the land, always replenished the resources that The Creator provided were put into slavery, were cheated out of their land, were a small soft shoe step away from annihilation.
We could complain about the state of affairs or we could do something about it. We could feed the hungry, like that little boy of 5 that saw a man and questioned his mom about him. The innocent mind of a 5 year old did not know what homelessness meant and when told, he thought of a way to fix what he saw.
The Racial differences that we are seeing in our country seem so monumental that people wonder if we were ever breach the gulf, but I am here to tell you we can.
It will start with the children being exposed to children unlike themselves.
My daddy was a Southern man, born and bred, but there was not a shred of racial inequality in his speech or manner. As I watched him treat the black man selling peanuts like his best friend, I gained a valuable insight to humans.
Red, yellow, black, white, gay, straight, transgender or any other difference that we can come up with. Because beneath that skin, beats a heart and blood flows to that heart which is life.
Start being an example to the youth of America today. If you are prejudiced and can recognize it, change it.
If you don't have any black friends, change it..
If you have a complaint, come up with a solution. Ghandi said.. Be the change you seek..
I love you all so much.. I believe that love can change the world. I will keep on believing as we grow.. Kamama

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Mothers day letter from My oldest daughter

Mom, through all you years, you always made me feel as though I was the most important thing in your life. Growing up, I thought that it was us against the world. You have always loved me unconditionally, even when I was difficult to tolerate. You took me all over the world, and taught me valuable life lessons. You always encouraged me to be who I want to be and love whom ever I choose. You gave me the foundation to become a strong, independent woman, and the confidence to expect more out of life. You have always encouraged me to ask questions and dig deeper into myself for answers. I am eternally grateful to be your daughter.
ree and 1 other
Gloria Peacock Kimmel Oh my darling first born daughter. You and I had 11 years of just being you and me. I had never known love until you came clawing your way into the world. I was so afraid that you weren't going to make it but you did
Even then you were stronger than I
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Wendi Downs Oh mom, your going to make me cry.
Gloria Peacock Kimmel You made me cry too sweetie. I wish I could hug you but just know that I am hugging you in my mind. I hope that you have had a beautiful weekend!