Wednesday, July 26, 2017

High Falutin Family Part Two

All I could think was, " Who are these people?" LOL.
My mission was to try and survive and then figure out who they were. I saw the gift they gave their maid for Christmas. It was a brand new Lincoln Town Car. It is a wonder that I did not swallow a half dozen flies over my stay there, for all the wonders in that home.
I had to go to the bathroom after the drink of brandy and milk that they insisted I try a sip of. It was terrible! I asked where the bathroom was and went down one of the hallways to try and find it. I finally found it, closed the pocket door but when I closed the door something latched and I was locked in.
Everyone else was down the hall in the fun room and the music was blasting. I had to wait until someone else came to use the bathroom to let me out. I spent 30 minutes contemplating if Annulment was an option. I am not proud of that, but I was overwhelmed and the in laws were entirely correct that our worlds were vastly different.
I stayed because my husband said he loved me and I was starved for that. I grew up hard, without affection. I think I hugged my Dad once or twice but most times it was the end of a switch with the leaf tips that I felt. My Grandma had died when I was 8 and she was my compass to love and affection. My Daddy nor Mama ever said that they loved me or any of the other children so when I found someone that said they did, I latched onto it like a calf to a teat.
I felt like I was some poor science experiment to them. Like I was on view in a plate glass store window. I could see them laugh as I wrinkled my nose at Caviar, pate, Brandy, many of the things with toothpicks in them. I wanted Greens, Cornbread, maybe some black eyed peas and a ham-hock, but that was not to be found here.
At one point I had to go to the kitchen to get a drink and I could not figure out where the fridge was or how to open it once I did. It was cleverly disguised as a door and had a little keypad on it. Someone had to show me how to open it .
This was a high tech house compared to mine. Tv's everywhere, sound equipment, beds that moved, partitions that did a full 360 and a complete floor so that one kid could have a sound proof room. I was so green in all the things they knew or had and I sure felt it.
There was this amazing Chess set and table in one of the corners and every now and then the master of the Castle went to the corner and moved a piece, then went back to the phone. I observed it for about 3 or 4 hours then could finally stand it no longer and said to my husband, "What is happening over there? Does each move have to be phoned in? " He laughed at me and said, " My Uncle is playing chess with someone in Germany." I repeated, "Germany?" He then explained to me that Uncle Bill played Chess with people all over the world. One of them would call with a move. Uncle would go over and move the piece and contemplate his next move, then he would return the call and so on and so forth.
My mind was thinking of our old 4 party line at home and how that would never work. Lord knows, I loved Miss B. , but man could that lady talk. If we wanted to talk, we knew it was going to be at least an hr or two wait for us. We tried to get to the phone in between , but often we messed up and her ring let us know that we were too late. The calls to our friends would have to wait or we would have to ask the Operator to interrupt if we had waited for as long as we could. But this man, called all over our country and others on a single line that was never in use, unless he was using it. It was a dedicated phone line for him to play chess!!!
I spent that week in cultural shock. I did not recognize it at the time but years later, when I thought about how that night moved in slow motion, I knew that I had gone back into the deep recesses of my mind for protection. Such Waste when Daddy worked so hard at the Sawmill for a few dollars a week. I knew that I would never be a true part of a life style like that. I was too different as every one had seen, but me.
My Mother in law was old money as I had said. She was from the McGuffin family and they were big in the coal mines or so I heard. His Dad was a retired officer in the Military. He also worked and had retired again but I can't remember from what. She carried herself regally and so did her sister. I had never seen someone so sure of their place in the world as I did those two women. Really all of the people at that party exuded confidence and I did not. I heard words like Mafia being banded about and that terrified me. I had thoughts of Bugsy Malone and Al Capone going through my head and again I asked myself, "who are these people"
I was hobnobbing with the Woolworths, The Broyhills, Movie Stars and ones that thought they were. Ego's were as big as the hair in this place and for an observer like me, it was fodder for the rest of my life.
The party ended and we all went home. I remember thinking I am never going to get the stink out of this dress. Cigars, pipes, cigarettes and spilled drinks were all over the house and my dress. I loved it so much though that I painstakingly cleaned it to wear another day. (I tried desperately today to find a photo of it and came up empty handed. I know that it is here somewhere and when I find it, I will share.)
I was not a very good hippie in my day and did not like the smells in the room. I longed for my pear tree with juice dripping down my chin again but that was not to be. I had made a choice and I had to stick with it.
We visited a few times over the next couple of years. The year after our wedding the in-laws sold their home and moved into a high rise condo, for Seniors only. I was 19 by now and we stayed in the condo with them. I had never seen anything like it in my life. I was so puzzled by my mother in law. She kept all her pans in the plastic covers that they came in and every day after my father in law cooked, she would wash the dishes and pans up and put them right back into their plastic covers. It was something that I had never seen before or since. I came from a cast iron family and we prided ourselves on the coating of generations of cornbread and grease. I am sure she would have keeled right over if she has chosen to eat in our house.
There were a variety of people with white , gray and other colored hair living high on the hog there. I watched them playing shuffleboard in their blue plaid shorts, white shoes and white belts to match. The women sat out under large umbrella's, sipping all manner of fruity drinks and ogled the old men playing. I was enjoying the camaraderie and saw a pool. Since I loved to swim and was quite the water sprite, I headed upstairs to put on my suit.
At that time I had a blue bikini with metal rectangles connecting the top in the center and on each hip. You could see skin through the metal buckles. I was so excited to go swimming and dove in the deep end as the people milling around were watching me and the buckle on my top broke clean into and I was exposed. The suit went one way and I clutched my hands over myself and called for my husband. I explained my predicament and he threw me in his white t-shirt which I shimmied into and then I got out of the pool. Good thing the t-shirt was one of those old ones that were thicker than they are today or it may have been the scene out of the movie with Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson. LOL
I took the suit to my mother in law. She saw that the buckle was broken and said we will get you another. I told her how much it meant to me so she took fabric from inside the suit and sewed two strips attaching the two halves together as I watched. I had never had a Mom to do things like that for me, so I was watching her with interest and a new feeling of real caring for her. She also replaced the ones on the sides so that scenario would never happen again. I thanked her so much for saving my favorite suit for me. She may have been a little odd or different than I was, but we had found common ground and it began a wonderful relationship.
In time she began to share her life with me. She had never had a live child but she had a stillborn one. A little girl and she took her picture out to show me. I knew what a trusting honor this was, because I had not heard anyone mention that she had children before. Even all those years later, I could feel her voice tremble and I wanted to console her. I hugged her and she let me. Our relationship changed in that moment and she ceased to be my mother- in- law and became my Mom.
One day my husband took me to one of the Malls. I had been to Cordova Mall in Pensacola when it first opened in 1971 and it was big, in my mind. But this mall was huge. More than one story with an elevator in the middle. Escalators that would take you to the levels and store after store to tempt your wallet. In the middle of the Mall there was a guy painting portraits of people and he wanted to do one of me. I did not ask him too and he had to convince me to let him do it. I was so timid and didn't know why anyone would want to draw me? He seemed to really want too and my husband wanted him too also, so I gave in. I sat for him and my husband paid the money for the portrait, which He signed and dated for me. All the while I was saying, "that's not me" and he replied , " it is how the rest of us see you." I will never forget that. I had it framed that day and it was growing on me. I did not know him and it was many years later that I realized that I had just been drawn in Charcoal by a famous person, Dick Briefer, and that portrait is precious to me today.
Meanwhile the Military career called my husband to Memphis. I was working at Vanity fair on the line and we had purchased our first brand new mobile home. It was 12 x 60 feet and we had bought hurricane tie downs to make sure it wasn't going anywhere. It was the South after all. lol.
My husband spent a total of 3 months in Memphis and did not send me much money but I had my job at Vanity Fair and made it through. He came back again for a couple of months and then it was back to Memphis for another 3 months. I, for the life of me, can't remember what training it was that he was taking, but the next thing I knew we were being shipped out to Miramar Naval Base outside San Diego.
We took 5 days driving there and we stopped at several attractions along the way. The one that sticks in my mind was The Carlsbad Caverns. It was scary to walk down those steps into the caves. I saw a photo recently and they have made a walkway so that you can go down a winding path into the cave but in 1973, you walked down hundreds of stairs and I was terrified. They didn't even have hand rails or a rope to hold onto back then. I literally held my breath walking down those stairs hoping that my shoes would not slip on those cave steps.
The wonder of the caves were worth it though and I delighted at what nature had wrought. This is the only photograph I have of our trip. We saw the balloons in New Mexico, stopped at a roadside stand and bought some souvenirs and finally had made our way to San Diego. Our trailer was already on the spot by the time we got there in Chula Vista which was a bit of a drive for him but it was cheap and we needed cheap.
It was the middle of September and unbeknownst to me, I had gotten pregnant on the trip. When I was about 5 months pregnant, he was sent on a 6 month deployment. I thought he would send money to me but he didn't. I had to take in alterations but it was not enough to pay for the food and gas for the appointments. The rent for our trailer automatically came out of his pay, so at least I had that.
I had elderly neighbors that lived next door and they let me do all types of alterations so that i could have some money. I babysat for their daughter, ran errands for them and they loved me. I was so blessed to have them in my life. I always say that God has sent Angels all my life when I needed them and they were certainly that.
One day when I was 6 months pregnant, I was washing dishes and the glass broke in my hand and sliced the outer edge of my right hand. It bled, a lot. I started to feel faint and went to the elderly couple next door. They were so upset for me that I thought it was going to give them a heart attack but they piled me in their car and took me to the base hospital. I did not know that he was some sort of retired big whig but when we got to the gate, he said I am Colonel so and so and this girl needs care NOW. He ceased to be that stooped elderly gentlemen next door and as his frame straightened, I could see what a commanding figure he must have been, once upon a time. They whisked me right into the medical bay and stitched my hand up. That scar reminds me that two people took care of a little girl from Fl and quieted my fears.
I talked to Mom often but I did not tell her I was struggling. I mentioned that I cut my hand and that was when his Mom decided to come and see what was going on for herself and Thank God she did.
She hardly believed I was pregnant when she arrived I was so thin. When she saw my bare fridge and cupboard, she was not happy with her stepson. She stayed with me for 6 weeks, feeding me my every desire, cooking, cleaning, pampering me in a way my husband never had and she saved me. I gained weight and popped a little and finally looked like I was going to have a child. I don't think that my daughter or I would have survived if she had not stayed with me, feeding me nutritious foods, granting my cravings and just loving me. Thank God for her. I am so glad that I got to thank her.
When she left I felt alone and frightened again. I was going to have a first baby by myself!
I had a car and I drove myself to each doctor appointment and one false alarm and then the time was here. My baby was coming........
Thank you all so much for reading. You all are helping me finish my book. lol I love you..
( antique chess set from google similar to the one they used)










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