My baby was coming........
After my false alarm I thought I would wait before going in. I remember walking up and down the driveway in front of my trailer. I did not let my neighbors know I was in labor. They were in poor health and I worried about them getting so upset so I kept it inside. I walked, would have a tightening up across my belly, stop for a moment and then I would walk some more. I was afraid to wait too long so I drove myself to the hospital and they wanted to send me back home again. I explained to them that I was alone and drove myself in and even though I was only 2 cM., they let me stay.
I remember wanting my Mom, my mother in law, but she was 3000 miles away. There weren't cell phones in that day, but the hospital let me call to tell her it was time when I checked in. I could hear her voice go breathless as I told her I had driven myself to the hospital and was being admitted. I knew that she was so anxious because of her loss.
I checked into a sterile room with a bed and a huge monitor which they hooked up to my tummy. All of this was so new to me and I was scared.
I am not going to go into this too much but I will say that I started bleeding about 8 hours in and I kept getting up to go to the bathroom and get tissue to wipe myself. I was trying not to get the bed messed up. They checked on me a few times and at one of those the nurse told me not to wipe myself, that it was to be expected. At 18 hours in, I remember starting to pray, "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me"
At one point they brought in a class of students to "view" Me. I was horrified as I overheard them talking about my difficult delivery as if I weren't in the room and I cried for them to leave.
My daughters heart beat was getting slower. A regular babies heartbeat is somewhere around 160 beats a minute and mine was about 100 if I was able to count right.
All I could do was pray
I was too weak and too scared to know what to do. When that had gone on for 3 more hours and I heard her life's blood draining out of her, I begged them to take her. It had been 21 hours and her heartbeat sounded like a plop in a bucket about 50 beats a minute to the best of my being able to figure. Finally they came in to prep me for a C-Section but in the middle of the shaving, her head began to crown and they rushed me to delivery. They used forceps to deliver her and I waited for her to cry, but that never happened. I did not know what was happening but I could see that her color was pasty and gray. I asked if she was alive but they took her right away from me and for 12 hours I did not know if she lived or not. I did not know what was happening at the time but she had swallowed Meconium and had choked.
I was cleaned up from the delivery and taken to a ward to recover. The nurses kept getting me out of bed and I fainted every time they got me up. One time they left me alone in the bathroom and I passed out and hit my head on the floor as I slid to it. They came looking for me later and helped me back to bed. I had lost a lot of blood in the delivery and they wanted to give me blood but I refused. I was so scared of everything back then, and really did not understand why no one was talking to me about my daughter. The Nurse’s would come and massage my stomach every half hour after the birth if I did not do it, and I thought that was going to kill me. I was already in such pain without any pain medication of any kind, but I massaged while gritting my teeth, just to keep their hands off me. When they did it, the pain was so intense, I almost fainted.
As a Nurse now I can recognize that there were good Nurses then and bad Nurses then. My child had a good nurse and for that I will always be grateful. I am also thankful that the medical abilities have come a long way in just a few years. By the time I had my second child 11 years later, they did not massage, and they made sure that you were able to stand with help when you were gotten out of bed.
Twelve hours after the birth, a Commander was walking through the military ward, and he saw how pale I was. He stopped to talk with me and took my hand. He turned it over and it was stark white. He got my chart and talked with the nurses for a few minutes and instructed them not to get me up for a bit. He asked me if I had any questions and I asked him, did my baby live? He became red in the face suffused with anger, and said when did you deliver, and I told him 12 hours ago.
He went back over to the Nurses and he let them have it. No one has told her about her baby. Where is she and why hasn’t she been told? All of the questions rumbled out of his mouth and he put the fear of God in those Nurses. He came back to me, and had them help me into a wheel chair and then he, himself wheeled me to the Nursery unit where my little darling was.
It was the first time I had known that she made it, and I was so glad. When I saw her tiny body with all those lines, monitors, and things all over her, it scared me to death, but he reassured me that she was fine, and gaining strength fast. He said that I would be able to hold her the next day and I was so happy when they brought her to me the next morning. She was so amazingly beautiful with a shock of dark hair and blue eyes. Her color was pink now and she had the most beautiful lips. That was the first thing I noticed. They asked me what I wanted to name her and I said Wendi Gail. The Gail was after my youngest sister.
I fed her and they told me that I could not take her home for a couple of days because they wanted me to gain strength and she had to be eating 2 oz at every meal.
I fed her and she barely ate one oz. so I tried again. After about the 2nd day with her only eating one oz, I decided to squeeze the rest of the required milk into the plant in my room. I was not leaving the hospital without her. I felt that if I could just get her home, she would be fine. I kept squeezing the milk out for her until the next day and I visited with the other mothers.
All of the Nurses told me in the ward that I had the prettiest baby. They could hardly let her sleep because they all wanted to pick her up and see that alabaster skin with a pink mouth and lovely features. They said she looked just like me, but I could see her Dad in her, especially that beautiful head of black hair. Any time that I held her, I knew that it was worth what ever I had gone through to bring her here. God she was so wonderful. Just the tiniest little fingers and little toes, long knock kneed legs, just like Grandma Peacock and that beautiful face.
After three days and with her slurping down the 2 oz. (not really) we came home. It was just me and her that first week but then my sister Donna came to visit me for a week. I was glad to have the company and to have her see my miracle. Donna and her friend Sherry thought she was just as beautiful as I did and my pup loved her too.
The week passed quickly and soon it was me and the baby and my beloved Scooby doo. Scooby doo was my 3 yr pure bred Dachshund Dog. I loved that dog like my own baby. She did not think that she was a dog and I did not think of her as one either. She sat on the quilt with Wendi and would guard her charge with a vengeance.
When Wendi was 6 weeks old, she broke out in a full body rash. I was horrified and rushed her to the Doctor. I knew it was an allergy but I did not know to what. When the doctor looked at me and said, do you have any pets? I thought I would die. He told me that she was having an allergic reaction to my dog and I tried to think what I could do, because I loved that dog. I tried keeping her away from direct contact with her. I tried to clean really well and keep the hair picked up and still Wendi showed sensitivity to Scooby. So the terrible decision had to be made for her to go to a new home. I did not know anyone in Chula Vista or San Diego that wanted a dog so I took her to the Pound, and talked with the officials there. When they saw her, they went crazy because she was so beautiful and everyone else that wanted a dog did too. One of the women that were waiting in the room said to me, are you trying to find a home for her and with tears in my eyes, I told her the story. She said I will give her a home and love her, so Scooby found a good home, and Wendi’s rash cleared up after about 10 days. I went through the house with a fine tooth comb, cleaning it completely including the curtain rods. LOL. I was going to make sure that Wendi had what she needed because she was the only thing that mattered in my life now.
I loved my little Wendi Gail so much. She had a temper just like all the Peacocks and when she would pitch a fit, she would turn red in the face and almost stop breathing in her anger. I thought she was the sweetest little thing I had ever seen and I pampered her everyday. I bathed her, fed her, and dressed her up like a doll.
I was determined that I would be a good Mom and it started out being that way. I devoted my life to her, and we had the best of days in that two months before her daddy came home. When he came home, I was so glad to see him because I loved him despite his faults, and I thought that he loved me. It wasn’t too long before I was cleaning our bedroom one day and opened his drawer to find pictures of him and other women. When he came home from work, I confronted him and in an instant my first marriage was over. It had lasted 3 years and 11 months, and gave me the love of my life, my darling Wendi. I will never regret those times because of her.
While I almost died giving birth, my first husband was being unfaithful in the Philippines. I know that it was expected. He was only 22 or 23 but I was being faithful and he was not. I grew so angry after he came home and I discovered the pictures of him with other girls. My first marriage was over at age 21 and the only thing I knew was to get right into another relationship.
Thank you all for reading these three parts of my life. I appreciate you more than I can say and am so humbled by all the comments and caring sent my way. Love to all, Kimmee
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