I was one of those people that lost everything. I was living in my home in upstate Ny on 83 acres. It was filled with antiques that I had collected over 25 years. I was a Nurse Manager 3 years from being vested in my retirement and then I had the misfortune to get really sick. I couldn't lift a chart, much less work.
I was married to an alcoholic. I had a 13 yr old still at home and I was 6 months in bed. To keep from losing the house, I dragged myself from that bed and sold my lovely things on Ebay. I sent things to auction then retreated to my bed. I know that my son thought I was going to die and I wondered about that too but high doses of steroids kept me alive. I sold most everything I had over the next few years, including my home that I had bought before I married. It was heartbreaking to watch all of the things I Loved go one by one but it was worse to contemplate that I may not make it.
Disability was not forthcoming for several years. It is their mission to deny disability and they do it with gusto. So much so that I ended up having to live with this one or that one for 8 years. I had run out of options and was facing homelessness but I had so many Angels help me. They gave me food. They made sure I had a pillow for my head.
My husband bailed when I could not take care of him and he died a few years into my illness. Finally I did what I did not want too. I asked my oldest and her wife if I could live with her family and they said yes. I thought it might be temporary but here I am 6 years later. I helped them buy a home, they gave me two beautiful rooms to live in, disability came through and now retirement. I help them and they help me.
Make no mistake, there are Angels among us and I am the recipient of several that have helped me live. I sometimes say that becoming ill was the best thing that happened to me. I learned so many valuable lessons. Those that I could count on and those that I couldn't. I Learned that it is not weakness to accept charity but a blessing for both. I learned that we are not an Island and we need each other.
All those years of taking care of others made it nigh impossible for me to accept help but being ill humbled me and made it necessary for me to ask for help. The pride went out the window for necessity. Sometimes God works in Mysterious ways and we don't see that until we are out of the valley and on the mountain.
I hope that any valley that you may be in will be over for you and that soon you will be standing on that mountain shouting " I made it" and that it will be some time before you are in that valley again. If you are in that valley, know that it will not last. Learn the lessons that you need to and let go of the rest.
I love you all and was thinking of how many true Angels I have in my life. Those that send me a card to let me know that they are praying for me. Kidney problems are no picnic but you all make it easier for me and I wanted to thank you for that. Prayers and love for you all. Always, Kimmee
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