The Day The Music Left

 It's hump day and it's story time. 

Most of you know that I was a military wife and we were stationed on Okinawa for 3 years. During that time, I fulfilled a life long dream to "try" and play piano. I enrolled at the Ryukuyan Classical Academy,  where for the next two years I got to hear about my banana fingers from my professor. Lol. 

Professor Panginiban was tough, but he was so good. By the end of my tenure, I could passably play 6 hours of classical music from memory, along with other classic songs like, Send In The Clowns, Piano Man and Yesterday. 

(I have to spin ahead to NY here or else this will turn into a book. My very first piano is pictured in the 1st photo,  and the 2nd photo is the piano I had in my upstate NY home.)

I stopped playing piano after I came home one day from work, to discover my husband had chopped my antique oak piano into pieces,  and was using it as firewood. 

There were so many awful things in my last marriage and I haven't talked about all of them here.  Coming home from a long day of nursing and expecting to see my piano and finding it in pieces broke something in my spirit. I was in such shock and grief for so long over him taking another thing from me that I loved. 

 I NEVER touched another piano, *insert drum roll*, until NOW. 

I decided that 30 years was long enough to have that loss inside,  and I bought a keyboard. It was from temu, which means it was a low price, but also means it was, well, cheap. LOL. 

My hands are not what they were back then. If my poor professor saw my twisted, arthritic banana fingers now, he would laugh me right out the door, but I don't give things up easily. I'm practicing again. You would think I would have tons of muscle memory there, and you would be right. But my hands are so stiff and the keys are so tiny on this thing, that it sounds like a 2 yr old attempting Moonlight Sonata . Lol

If I have too, I will buy a slightly larger keyboard for me to play and some kid in the campground will get an early Christmas present. 

It feels really good to reclaim this part of myself. It's hard to explain how a body can carry a deep hurt for such a long time. They stay buried deep where we don't think about them. This gives us the ability to function in our daily lives. Then one day, you will be listening to music and you will see your piano in pieces on the ground. The heart pain is sharp like it was then, and you know that you're going to fix it, instead of carry it. 

I won't be the next Liberace, but my hope is to be able to complete Fur Elise. My spirit feels free now and I can view the piano in my mind,  as a symptom of his illness and forgive him. May he RIP. 

I wish you all the best mid week bump,  and hope that in all things we can find compassion for ourselves and others. 

I love you all so much. Always, kimmee ❤️

(This photo of the keyboard is from the seller)