Good Morning sweet friends, ( Another long post)
Yesterday was an emotion filled day for me. I cried easily and felt such loss because it was Daddy's birthday.. Each year as I age, I think it gets harder for me. You would think it would be the opposite but for me it isn't.
I always review our entire life together. That first memory of Christmas when I got my first doll and it wasn't under the tree like it usually was. I always got a box loaded with fruit, nuts, and peppermint candy and my one gift, but that winter when I was 5, my gift was not in the box. I tried to be a brave little soldier but huge crocodile tears were falling down my cheeks when daddy asked, "what's wrong little ole gal?" and I, trying to be brave said, "nothing, daddy". He walked into the kitchen and returned with a big box wrapped in brown paper and said, "look at this. We must have forgotten one." He had a smile on his face as he handed that package to me. I almost stopped breathing as I saw the box because I remembered so well that blonde haired doll in the window at the 5 and dime. When I opened it, there she was in all her finery and I couldn't believe that she was mine....
Skip ahead to my 16th birthday; I was working at a local teens delight restaurant in town and daddy had a surprise for me.. It was a banana yellow 67 Mustang.. Daddy had paid the down payment on it for me and I had to make the 58 dollar payments each month and buy my gas but Man was I in some kind of car heaven.. LOL.
Then he walked me down the aisle at my wedding when I was 17 and silent tears rolled down his cheeks as we walked. He was so sad that day because it meant the end of his dream for me to go to college. He told me all my life, I was going to be the first to go there and he encouraged me to make something of my life.
I came home in 85 when my middle daughter was 2 months old and my oldest daughter was 11. He had suffered a stroke at age 65 but he was so vibrant and worked hard everyday with my 11 yr old daughter hard on his heels... She loved him so much and he loved her. There was an old swing set in the front yard that did not have a swing and he saw Wendi looking at it.. He immediately walked off the porch and made some holes in a piece of wood, tied a rope into those holes and soon she was swinging like no tomorrow.. She was so proud of her swing and daddy was so happy for her.. My heart squeezes with the memory of her and daddy..
The next year, he passed away in a car accident and I felt my world come to a halt. I could never go home again because he was not there. This man who shaped my life was gone and I felt like an orphan and on each 21st of January, I feel those heart pangs again.
I am posting the picture of Daddy on a motorcycle cause he loved those. He gave me my first one when I was 12.. We weren't coddled and we got hurt at times but we lived such a full life, outside in the sunshine, swimming in creeks, catching fish, climbing trees, and eating fresh tomatoes from the garden.
I am so thankful for my childhood which makes me so thankful for every good thing that happens in my life today.. I love you, Daddy.. Thank you for being the man you were and teaching me all those silent lessons you did.. Love, Glorian