The Peacock Lamp

 Jan 27, 2018

I woke up from my nap and the most amazing surprise awaited me. My Grandson works for a moving company and today they were moving items from a home where someone had passed.

The people supervising the move were donating the items but asked the movers if they wanted anything before they took it all away. 

You will never guess in a million years but there was a Peacock lamp and my Grandson Dylan asked if he could take it for me and they said YES!! 

It is the most beautiful thing I ever saw and I wish that I could take a photo of it well enough so that you can see the gorgeous colors. It is amazingly beautiful and such a wonderful gift from my boy... If you are thinking that I cried, you are right. It touched the very core of my heart.

My Grandson was a preemie baby weighing 4 lb 2 oz when he was born and 3 lbs 5 oz when he came home. The only reason they let him come home is that my daughter was a Nurse and I was an Aide at the time.  

I was in the delivery room with my daughter and the first one to hold my tiny grandbaby boy. 

We brought him home on a snowy Nov.  day in upstate NY and tried desperately to keep him warm. He was so tiny but he made it through those long winters and grew into a 6 ft 1 boy. He is just the sweetest Grandson that anyone could ask for. I love him so much and this gift is just precious. Thank you my sweet boy.  I cherish this lamp and your thoughtful gifts for me. You always know just what I will love. All my love, Nana

PS. He told me that the lamp came from someone that had a Peacock Farm. It seems so wondrous that just a few days ago, I said we always wanted a Peacock and Daddy would not let us get one and here is a Lamp that belonged to someone that raised them.  Life is so serendipitous... Giggling...

 

Warning. May Trigger.. Renee Good

Margaret Atwood, the gifted writer, philosopher, and poet from Canada, said 

"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them.

Women are afraid that men will kill them. "

There isn't a woman alive who hasn't felt fear from a man. 

My last husband was a Marine Corp Sniper. He was in the tail end of the Vietnam War. As a military wife several times, I have gotten to hear things from men that maybe other women may not. 

" The Army doesn't issue you a wife in your duffle bag.

Meaning duty 1st, family 2nd. 

"The Marine Corp tears you down to nothing, then builds you up to kill." 

Meaning that there are literally thousands of young men out there who have this rage built in.

 My ex was one of those. He used to tell me that the Marines made him a killer, and then the war ended, and he had nothing to kill. 

(I know this is not all men, but Atwoods quote hit home with me this morning.)

I first felt fear from my Daddy.

He was a brutal alcoholic. Every single time, my mother tried to come home to visit us, and she ended up bloody and beaten, usually raped.

She slept with me in bed with her, but I wasn't enough protection, and one night, he raped her with me in bed. I was 4 or 5, and I could still hear my mother saying, "Please, Elmore. The baby's in bed." He started in on her to muffled Nos, and I froze in fear. 

This was my childhood and my 1st introduction to love 

Fast forward to the husband. He would point a laser on whichever gun he was holding at my head. At my chest. 

I used to look at that red dot and think, "Is today the day he will kill me?" 

51 % of the US population are women, and they are going around afraid of what can happen to them, at the hands of the other %.

 The rage that we heard from Renee Good's murderer is one that women are connected to. 

I was back sitting in a recliner with a 30-06 red dot pointed squarely at my chest. 

I heard his rage directed at a woman he perceived wasn't obeying what he told her to do immediately.  

She was doing what every afraud woman does. She was trying to placate his rage

"That's fine, dude. I'm not mad at you."

This broke me. 

I love y'all. 

Please be kind and compassionate toward one another. 🦋💙🫂