The Tiny Pine

 My thankfulness today is about forgiveness.   I have had my battles with it over the years,  first with Mama and Daddy and then later in marriage.

It is amazing how many of us carry the original reason for a person needing forgiveness around with us,  in our daily lives. 

I was given this lesson a few years ago and want to share it with all of you because it is within our power,  to free ourselves....

The Tiny Pine .. Sept 09

 It was a crisp day with the sun shining just the way I like it, when I started on my early morning walk. The  long dirt driveway that I walk is just the size of one automobile  and filled on both sides overflowing,  with all types of trees and plants. The palms are just amazing. They always sway in the wind like large fans and the pines are so tall that you have to really look up to see the tip tops. 

I was walking along dodging the holes in the road, when I saw the tiniest pine tree on the side of the road. It was encased in vines and being held down to the ground. It had already turned brown on the side away from the sun, and I could see that it would not last long in that condition. 

I started pulling the vines away and it was amazing the transformation in that tiny tree. It immediately sprang up and stretched out its pine needles to the sun,  It was still bent some but it had just been given it a new chance at life. 

That hit me like a thunderbolt, that we live our lives ensconced in vines and we need to free ourselves if we are going to live fully and be nurtured by the people around us. 

When we carry anger of a person"s transgression against us around, it is like those vines pulling us away from all that we can be. It keeps us from accepting the warmth of the light to nourish and feed us. 

It took me so many years to forgive my Mama and Daddy and all of that took a toll on me and my body. When I learned to ask forgiveness for my part in any wrong doing and to give forgiveness to those even if they don't ask,  I started to heal. 

Forgiveness is not for the other person. It is for us. We don't have to pal around with the person or be best friends, but we don't have to carry them into our tomorrow either because that gives them some control over our present. 

I forgave my Mother for leaving. I was able to see it through her eyes and know that she did the best that she could. 

I forgave my Daddy for drinking and being less a man than he could have been. I was able to see his struggle to take care of his children and provide for 6 children alone.

But the big one is that I forgave myself for putting my needs before my children. I could see myself,  the child,  wanting to be loved at all costs. It was human and I was human and that was ok. 

 

My sincere wish is that all of us can rid ourselves of those clinging vines that suck the life out of us. That way we can live fully,  without beating ourselves up because we are human. 

I am so grateful that I was given this lesson of forgiveness because it freed me,  just like that tiny tree. 

I love you all so much and pray that you will be able to forgive others and yourself, just as we are forgiven,   so that your heart and mind are free.... Love and light, Kimmee

(Google images) 

Angels Unaware

 A friend of mine shared her experience with us recently about Angels.  She had a real life Angel experience and I have too. Today I am going to share how my Angel protected me against the elements. 

I used to work as a 3-11 pm Supervisor at The St Josephs Nursing Home.  The shift ended at 11 PM but I was never out on time. I needed to make sure that the night was running smoothly before I left and sometimes it was 1  AM before I left to go home. Any other time it would be about a half hour or so to get home in winter, if the roads weren't icy and or snowing hard.  

This particular night it was really cold, 10 above zero and I had made it to Heuvelton, 5 miles from home when my car started acting like the entire electrical system was going out. The lights on the dash panel kept flashing  on and off and and I thought for sure it was going to die right on the spot, but I gave it some gas and sped through the village praying that I would make it home.  I crested the hill and coasted  to my turn off on East road and the car decided to give up the ghost,  just  as I turned onto my road. 

It was 1:30 in the morning on a weeknight,  and there were no streetlamps on my road. It was pitch black , except for a tiny sliver of a moon and it was brutally cold. I knew that I could not walk the 4 miles home in my thin Nursing uniform, even though I had a coat. I would surely freeze to death and I was kicking myself for not putting a blanket in the trunk, as I had said I would.   

Hindsight is always 20/20 and  I thought this might be the last mistake I would make in this inhospitable climate.  I was really wishing I had a cell phone like my friend Janice,  but I didn't.   It would not have done me any good to try to walk the mile back into the village because when the village closed up, it closed up.  No 24 hour supermarkets, no Walmarts nor coffee shops. 

The prayer had started the minute my light panel had begun flickering and it continued for the next 10 minutes. No one came by and why would they? It was 2 o'clock in the morning and people were snug in their warm beds.  

I sat in my car for a bit, then decided that I may as well walk out to the main street and pray that someone would be driving by this  early in the morning,  but not expecting anything.  I walked out and saw the house at the top of the hill but I hated to wake anyone up. I was kind of surprised that I wasn't colder than I was and was really starting to think I could walk home.

 I walked back to my car and just as I did, I saw lights coming down my road.  I was shocked and the truck stopped when they saw me.  It was a lady and she was on her way to work that morning and she had a cell phone. I called my husband and he said he would be right there. She stayed there with me and wanted me to get inside so I could warm up, but I declined.  Something else was warming me up on the inside and I was barely cold. 

We did not know each other but she lived at the other end of our road and we had already introduced ourselves when she said,  " I don't normally go into work until 4,  but I was awake and could not sleep, so decided to go on in."  I felt a flood of warmth on my body when she said that.  I knew that it was no accident that she had come to help me.  She wanted to wait with me but I told her that my husband was only 5 minutes down the road and she left me with a thermos of coffee and went on her way.  

Before her lights were gone, I saw another car coming down the main street. This was crazy. Cars were not out at this time of night. This was an elderly man and woman and they were coming from the hospital. His wife had not felt well earlier and they had gone to the Dr and were on their way back home.  They stopped and asked , "could we take you home?" and I replied, " no, my husbands coming and he will be here any minute." They seemed reluctant to leave me also but I said to his wife that she better go on home and get to bed where it is warm. They insisted on leaving me a blanket and they went on down the road.  

I watched their lights as they drove and before their lights disappeared, I could hear my husbands Van coming.  

He arrived and we had decided to push the car off the road so no one would hit it in the dark, just in case anyone came by and then something hit me to try the car again so I did and it started, just barely.  The lights would not come on but it was running and  my husband jumped in his van and turned it around to provide light for me to see the road. I followed closely behind him and kept saying in my mind, a few more feet, a few more feet.  We passed the forest, the most beautiful part of the drive where the trees were laden with white snow, we turned the corners and the few houses and trailers came into view. Ours was the 9th house on the road but it was 4 miles in.    With each 100 feet that we drove, I just knew my car was going to die but it didn't, not until I pulled into my driveway. 

That was the longest half hour I had spent in some time and I had spent it in the elements and I was not overly cold.  

No one can tell me that God did not send that lady to work early, or that elderly couple to give me a blanket or that my husband would hear the phone or  that his hand was not in my making it home,  without lights.

I had so much to be thankful for that night and many times since.  It could have gone so differently and someone may have discovered me the next morning 5 or 6 hours later, frozen in my car, but not that night...... 

I love each of you very much and pray that when you need an Angel, one will appear... Love always, Kimmee