The Mountain Path (Dream)

 August 17, 2018

The Mountain Path

(Google images)

My poor drawing ability.

My husband, myself, and our 14 year old daughter were going to visit his hometown on vacation. It wasn't really a vacation per se but a chance to resolve issues with his father after some 25 years. They had never met our daughter nor me, and my husband felt it was time he exorcised some demons.

We arrived, and I was dumbfounded by the trek from the place we were staying to the place where he was going to see his Dad. I had heard him talk of the mountainous region but I was not prepared for the narrow ledge we had to walk on to get to the mountain cabin, With my terror of heights, it was going to be iffy as to whether I could make it up the mountain and back down again more than once. You did not have safety rails to hang onto as you climbed, and you could see over the side on the three foot winding path up the mountain. 

Now I know that 3 feet seems like a lot, but believe you me, it wasn't. By the time you put your own two feet on the path and had your feet a bit apart as you walked you were left with two feet from edge to edge that you were walking up and it was a sheer path up with nothing really on either side to help you stay on and only trees in the distance and on top and nothing in between. It was like nothing I had ever seen then or since. 

I know that it sounds so strange to see trees in the distance on a mountain top,  but there they are in all shapes and sizes. I could see redwood as far as the eye could see. If you have never seen redwood, they are large enough to fit a car inside of it, and you would not see either side of it if the tree was hollow.  I was so frightened but my husband, usually so patient and kind,  had given no forethought to me and had walked up the path ahead of me like a tightrope walker with his hands out in a straight climb, almost a run to the top where the cabin was and then he looked down at me. I was hyperventilating on the path in a kneeling position and could not move another step to go up the path. 

He finally realized that he had sprinted up the path as he had done all his childhood years but that I was not with him nor our daughter.  He ran back down the steep incline like a mountain goat or some creature that had supernatural footing as he came back to me and helped me stand. He was in his own mind and distracted by my lack of surefootedness.  I was thankful for any help as I understood how difficult this was for him being here in his hometown, going to meet his dad again after so many years. He had been harboring anger at his abandonment for himself and his departed Mother for all those years, and I could feel it seeth inside him.  

The Dad had left my husband and his mother alone as marriage was too mundane for him.  My husbands poor mother struggled to make ends meet and keep them fed. The resentment that he felt was worn on his face as he looked down at the two buildings in the small village he lived in. The only road in or out was just large enough for a jeep or truck to use, and we could see a truck parked at the outer edges of the village, which we both thought was odd.  

He thought it might be his Dad, trying to get a glance at him  so we came back down the mountain ledge together, We had our daughter on our mind also as we could not see her right away. She was always traipsing off to do one thing or another, and if any animals were nearby, that is where she would be, so that was our thought as to what had detained her.

We made it to the "diner," and his Dad was sitting in a booth as we entered. To mention that the air was tense between them was an understatement. It was electric and bristling as their eyes met. I could see  my husbands Jaw tighten, and I could see my father in laws jaw, so similar to my husbands, show tension also. 

I was worried about both of them but concerned that I did not see our daughter about. I wanted to be polite meeting his father for the first time, so I took my husbands arm to stabilize his emotions and walked forward to the booth with him.  My father in law wanted to hug him, I could tell, but my husband only gave him a terse handshake and stood at the edge of the booth seat.

They stood there for a moment, and finally, my father in law, whose name was Andy, started to try and apologize for all the years he had missed, and that set my husband off. He wasn't ready for an apology. I began to realize that this trip was ill-conceived because my husband wasn't ready for this.  

He lumbered out of the room to the building next door and was slamming his fist down on one of the tables in his anger toward his father and that his father seemed to think every thing was ok, because time had passed but it wasn't in my husbands mind.  He was 8 years old again, and the grieving process had stopped at anger for him.  His whole body was shaking with the anger he felt, and this was a new man in front of me. Someone I had never seen before or hope to never see again. I knew he was trying to process and I let him until the worst of it had been slapped out of him by his pounding on the table and using a butter knife to scrape all of the decals off that were on the top of the table. Decals were left by people who had been there before. I knew that he was defacing property, but this place did not have a sheriff or cop in sight, and I wasn't about to interject myself into his angry space just yet. 

He finally stopped and looked out the window to where the truck was parked about 200 yards down the road. We still did not see our daughter, and I was beginning to panic. I had seen some newspaper articles on the way in of a young kid's abduction in the neighboring village, and that was in the back of my mind. 

I walked outside the door of the adjoining building to see my husband walking toward the truck. Just as my husband got to the truck, it started up and began moving up the small road to leave the village. My husband thought that was strange and looked up the road to where the truck was headed. It was a long distance from where we were, but we could see our daughter standing  near a mailbox petting an animal.  

She turned and waved at us, and we waved back to her, letting her know we were coming. Just as she  waved, we could see a heavy set man come near her talking, and my daughter was talking to him.  He was getting closer to heŕ, and the hair was starting to stand up on the back of my neck as I realized that the man and the truck could be related in some fashion. 

We saw the man put his arm around her, and she was wriggling in his grasp as I tried to scream, but nothing came out in my full-blown panic.  Meanwhile, my husband, the mountain goat, was sprinting, but he was not as fast as the truck, and the big man had picked her off the ground and carried her to the road. It didn't take us long to realize that our daughter was going to be in big trouble if we didn't act quickly and we were running for all its worth trying to stop this horrendous act from unfolding. 

In the distance, I could see her fighting the man,  kicking and screaming. I had finally found my voice and was screaming too, but my husband was all business, running  as fast as his legs could carry him, but we were too far away to be helpful. 

We could see her clearly, the terror on her face, and then we saw her grab the gun that was on the hip of the man that had her loosely in his arms.  We yelled at the same time. Shoot him,  shoot him,  as she grabbed the gun. 

She knew how to use a gun since she was 7, and her daddy taught her how to load, take the safety off, and shoot a target. She was familiar with how to use a gun, but what parent wants to see their child have to kill a man. 

Time stood still as I saw the terrified look on her face. The realization that this was different from cans or bottles.This is a human being. She turned to us and back to him and shot him once in the chest, but that made him angry like a bear. The bullet had knocked him away from her a bit, and as we were yelling, shoot him again. He reached our daughter and hit her in the face, and the fight was over for our daughter. She sprawled down to the ground, and the man picked her up and into the waiting truck as we watched in horror at our baby being abducted.   

And then I woke up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(This was so terrifying because my daughter is gay)

Lesson From The Leaves

 I was outside looking at my favorite flowered bush and the flowers are gone right now but that did not mean that there was not a lesson to be learned. 

The first leaf is so new. It is fragile and needs help and attention from the older leaves like we do as children. Some of us have supportive parents and some of us do not or did not. But we live on in either scenario. We have that child's trust and hope. 

The second leaf has grown a bit. An adult, ready to take our place in society. Hold down a job, maybe get married and have children and we are strong enough to weather the life we have now. We have our ups and downs but we have a partner or a supportive network of people that love us and keep hope alive for us. 

The third leaf is broken. Maybe our marriage fell apart or we lost the job that we thought would support us for the rest of our lives. Maybe we lost a child or a parent because this is the span of life where loss happens. We are getting older. We have different responsibilities. We may have to care for our aging parents and they may be sick. We may be alone in our brokenness, feeling that we will never survive what is happening in our lives. We may feel hopeless at times or have trouble seeing the light in the dark. This is the time that we need to surround ourselves with goodness and light. Rut out the malignancies that may keep us broken. This is the time to choose to help ourselves. 

The forth leaf is our aged self. You can see the holes in our armor. We have gotten old. You can see our lives written upon our faces. Our hair has turned gray. Our bodies are failing us. We have lost most of the people that used to be in our lives. 

If we are really lucky, a child will step in to help us walk this last road. They give us respect and provide us with the things that we need to live and be healthy. They include us in their lives and they don't make us feel that we are a burden. This is really important because WE never want to be a burden to our children. We want to continue to be the Mom or the Dad that raised them. 

We want to be viable and honored for the things that we can do. Not derided for the things we can't. 

This last part of our journey is no picnic but it can be wondrous. We are experiencing something we never have before. We are finding out that we are so much stronger than we ever thought we could be. We are wiser if we have learned the lessons of our youth and middle ages and things that once may have bothered us can be seen as what they are, small stepping stone to growth. 

I don't know what each of you may be facing today. I do know that we don't have to face those things alone. I am here and you are here and together we are strong. 

I can't tell you all how much I love you. There are not any words that can let you all know what your cards, messages and love to me could ever convey. But I promise that I will be here for you in any way that I can be. I  don't have money but I am not poor and I am not helpless.I can listen with my two ears and I can see with my two eyes that our Creator gave me. And my beating heart will love you until the leaf falls off the plant and becomes a thing of beauty like only Nature can provide.  Always, Kimmee